Living with a boy...

After living with a boy for over 2 years now I thought it was my turn to pass on the advice for new boy owners. Yes, boy, not man. Trust me, you'll understand when you live with one. 

Farts - Always gunna be number one. You never learn to cope with them. 

When he comes home from work, when you're trying to be romantic, when you're eating... Yup it's apparently acceptable to fart. 

Towels on the bed and floor, not on the towel warmers. Just leave them on the floor and let them use wet towels, they'll soon get fed up (or they'll start using your towel). 

Their idea of washing up is filling the sink with water, putting all of the pots in and leaving it all 'to soak'. By which he means he's leaving you to do it. 

Their food intake is bloody ridiculous! Like similar to what you'd imagine an extremely hungry elephants intake. Those days of doing food shopping and having a full fridge are over... He'll eat the majority whilst putting the shopping away. If I were you I'd put the shopping away yourself and hide anything that you don't want him eating!

Don't look at their washing! If you're like me then you will more than likely be the one doing all the washing so my absolute best advice is don't look at his washing!!! (Especially his boxers) just chuck everything into the washing machine with a shit load of stain remover and I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine! 

Turn the heating on yourself! If you ever find yourself laid in bed and think you'll just ask your wonderfully generous boyfriend to turn the heating on... Don't. His idea of 'heating' is shoving you under the duvet and farting. (Yup farting again). 

Learn his bank details. For some reason men have this bizarre idea that women buy a load of crap, so if you learn his bank details and order from his card then TECNICALLY you didn't actually buy the crap. You'll thank me later. 

If you notice that there's a large amount of milk/Coke/any thing that comes in a carton missing and there's no glasses in sight, DO NOT drink out of the carton!!!! The amount of spit back that my man child leaves in one swag is disgusting. Just choose a different drink. 

A mans day off is a mans day off, a woman's day off mean cleaning apparently. So train them early, Callum now knows that his day off means doing jobs just like I do! Hanging pictures, mowing the grass, decorating bedrooms! TRAIN THEM EARLY other wise you'll be eternally stuck with a giant man boy sat in his pants playing Xbox until dinner time!

And last but not least, when you first move in together don't try and be a perfect girlfriend that is happy to pick all of his shit up, wash and iron all of his clothes, runs his bath, makes him tea etc. Cause when you get bored of doing it he will NEVER let you forget about all the nice things that you used to do for him. Save yourself the ear ache and just be a bitch from day one, at least then the poor sod knows what he's got himself into. 

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